Nazis & dinosaurs seem like the perfect antidote to last week’s traumatic offering which divided Jill and I considerably. By which I mean I quite liked it and she didn’t, not that we are no longer speaking across the ocean.
I vaguely recall spending very real money on a cinema ticket to see the first Iron Sky movie, even if I can’t remember anything about the actual plot. I have a suspicion that this won’t actually matter though – and as it happens, I didn’t really follow this one either. But still, Nazis & dinosaurs!
Iron Sky: The Coming Race (2019)
A follow-up to the film Iron Sky (2012) in which Nazis plan to take over the world after lying dormant in a secret military base on the moon.
I’m a little bit screwed as I begin this review because Wikipedia is currently down and I’m not quite sure how this movie started. Let’s just say we’ve rocked up to the year 2047 and the world’s last survivors (or so they believe) have holed up on the dark side of the moon in a former Nazi base. These survivors have no choice but to live alongside former Moon Nazis. Elsewhere there are lizards parading as world leader’s chilling at the center of the center of Earth. I think.
Things are far from rosy back on da moon though. Supplies are dwindling, the moon itself is overpopulated AF and the base has fallen prey to a cult formed around the teachings of Steve Jobs. Obi Washington (Lara Rossi) spends most of her time keeping things ticking along as nicely as possible. One day a Russian refugee ship arrives at the base and onboard the ship, Obi discovers the former Moonführer Wolfgang Kortzfleisch (Udo Kier). He gives her a magic substance to help her heal her dying mother Renate (Julia Dietze).
Turns out the substance is something called Vrilia, a form of pure energy and there’s an endless supply of it back on Earth. Not only does it cure Renate’s terminal illness, it is also the key to ensuring the future survival of the moon colony. Kortzfleisch reveals he’s actually from a race of reptilian called the Vril (obviously) and is responsible for the birth of humankind – conceived by feeding a Vrilia injected apple to two apes named Adam and Eve. Oh yes, and K has a brother who is the Vril Adolf Hitler.
Look, you didn’t come here looking for believable, just remember that.
Kortzfleisch gives Obi – bargain basement Ripley – the mission to return to Earth, specifically the subterranean city of Agartha with a small crew to go steal themselves some goddamn Vrilia. But at what cost? WHAT COST? Kidding, there’s not an awful lot to lose at this stage anyway. Obi takes Captain of the ship Sasha (Vladimir Burlakov), beefcake Marcus (Kit Dale) and the leader of the Jobsism cult (Tom Green) with her to go fuck shit up.
Shit hits the fan when the ragtag bunch run into the Vril who have been parading around (not sure why) as world leaders throughout history. Oh and the Vril Steve Jobs is also there with the Vril Zuckerberg. Even old Maggie Thatcher gets some screen time.
I’m not going to say much more but Vril Hitler is pissed at his brother and is out for some sweet revenge. He’s not about to just stand by and let the Vrilia be taken with no consequences. The consequences may or may not include a T-Rex on the moon.
Honestly, will Obi and pals save what remains of humankind or will they all succumb to the whim of the Vril and their Hitler?
I’m somewhat surprised by two things: that the effects aren’t *that* bad (particularly the CGI Dinos) and that for the most part the performances are pretty earnest. That’s not to say many of them are very good but I was worried I’d hate this in the way I hate the Sharknado movies. Those movies are too smugly self-aware, which takes all the fun out of them.
Iron Sky might know what it is but it still tries to be a bit serious, with a detailed (albeit ridiculous) plot. At least it bothers though and I appreciate that.
Obi is great and her friendship with big brawny softie Malcolm is sweet. There’s a love interest for her too in the form of Sasha, which seems unnecessary but doesn’t grate as much as I thought it would. But apart from a few quite on-the-nose techno gags (the scene with the Nokia phone was hella relatable because who of my generation didn’t have that as one of their first phones?!), there’s not much more to comment on.
I thought Nazis on T-Rexs would be more fun, honestly.