Fuck knows what day it is let alone month, or what theme we should be working towards. I think Jill and I have just about landed on things that take our minds off all the shit that’s happening in the world – and what’s better than silly but pretty people being gobbled up by sharks?
Exactly. Nothing at all.
47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2020)
Four teen girls diving in a ruined underwater city quickly learn they’ve entered the territory of the deadliest shark species in the claustrophobic labyrinth of submerged caves.
Mia (Sophie Nélisse) and Sasha (Corinne Foxx) are step-sisters thrown together through the union of Mia’s dad Grant (my least favourite Carrie Bradshaw boyfriend John Corbett) and Sasha’s ma Jennifer (Nia Long). I think they’re newish to town but Sasha’s got her shit together with a small loyal crew, while Mia’s fallen victim to a group of bullies, led by head bitch Catherine.
Grant is some sort of underwater excavator who’s recently uncovered a series of caves underneath the city. Too busy with work one weekend, he encourages Mia and Sasha to bond on a shark watching expedition, which is frankly the last thing they want to do. When they arrive at the dock, Catherine and her minions are waiting to board the same boat. Luckily, Sasha’s pals Alexa (Brianne Tju) and Nicole (Sistine Rose Stallone) rock up in the nick of time, and the girls persuade Mia that she needs to take a break from the bullshit and come hang with them in a super secret location that nobody knows about, least of all tourists.
WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
Well, of course they have a whale of the time in the private lagoon the girls have lead them to but when one of them (Alexa or Nicole) suggests a quick dive – down into the underwater city Grant and his team are currently working on – things look set to become a little more stressful.
The city is comprised of a series of historic Mayan caves, full of ancient artifacts and the girls agree to have a quick look around the first cave before popping back to their sunbathing. Which is a relief since caves and water do not make good bedfellows (see: The Descent). Alas, the girls aren’t the most careful and when one of them is startled by an unusual looking cave fish, she knocks over a column which brings down the rest of its surroundings with it.
… is that an even bigger fish, disturbed by all the noise and movement? You bet your flakey tailfin it is.
It seems our four friends have uncovered an evolved species of Great White shark living under the city – blind as a bat but otherwise highly sensitive to movement and sound. OOOPSY.
And so begins a fight to the death and to the surface, as our friends swim like something huge is chasing them. When they thankfully bump into Grant, who’s working in the next cave, it seems they might just be okay… but then again, maybe not.
Will the sisters live to see another day together? Will Mia finally stick it to her bully? Or have our pals got bigger fish to fry? I think we know the answer to that last one.
For a non-cinematic release this is a pretty good-looking movie, I can’t deny it. Some of the cinematography is gorgeous. It’s also not that bad and in places, genuinely tense. I actually shit myself a couple of times even though there’s nothing really new here.
My biggest beef is that down in the hidden city, things are really dark and blurry, so my eyes had a lot of trouble adjusting. I had to guess a lot of what was happening and to whom.
There are also a couple of very dumb moments when the girls celebrate their freedom way too early and I hate that shit! Dudes, haven’t you ever seen Deep Blue Sea/Jaws/Mega Shark Vs. Mecha Shark? C’mon!
I really enjoyed myself though and the ending is nail biting and relentless even though you can see most of it coming a mile off.
Mia as a character is fine and I like the bonding between the step-sisters. There’s nothing like a situation like this to bring a pair together, am I right?