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The other side

Today’s post is brought to you by Chelsea Peretti* and this deeply relatable tweet:

Sometimes it takes a six line pep talk from a stranger to get you back on track. This one is decidedly Wiccan and I needed it. Manifestation is part and parcel of the Wiccan faith and picturing ourselves already living the lives we want is a powerful tool – so like Chels says: when I start to feel like I’m drowning, I’m going to visualise my way through it.

Right now I’m struggling to imagine what this time next year is going to look like, and anxiety (hello, old friend) is sending me on the path to pure catastrophe – which isn’t the one and it certainly isn’t helping anyone.

The Other Side, with that in mind, is going to take some training to visualise, especially in relation to the day-by-day ethos I’ve been practising since March. Luckily, I have nothing but time to work on changing my thinking. First stop, what I want it to look like.

I’m sure I’ve pondered before all the things I would do once lock-down was lifted and I’m not even sure I’ve done them yet. I’ve hugged my friends obviously but not as ferociously as I’d like. We’re still tiptoeing around physical contact and it still feels awkward. Plus nobody’s on the same page.

I’ve been to dinner once and the cinema too but I haven’t run into town like a madwoman and I haven’t climbed a mountain or run naked through a meadow (yet). I don’t even know if the things I want are the things I used to love.

Course I still love books and films and wandering down alleyways looking at graffiti, that could never change but maybe I’m less concerned about ASOS deliveries and fast fashion and pubs with people I don’t even really like. Harsh maybe but the last six months has shown me who I need in my life and it’s a smaller, richer pool.

I think if nothing else, this year has reinforced the feeling that I need less but want more. When we’re healed and the economy is back on track, I want to do more with the skills I have. Believe in everything I’ve achieved and get myself out there career-wise.

I want my home and my family and my friends and my cat. I want good food and blankets and afternoon naps and laughter. A decent wage and a job I can stand with people I like. I don’t need three dresses for a tenner or statement necklaces at great cost (even though they’re like, my thing).

I don’t even need holidays or handbags, expensive make-up, festivals. I want a good life and the wind in my hair and to know I make a difference somewhere in the machine, even if it’s miniscule.

You’re going to have to forgive these freeform blog posts for now, they’re the only way I can untangle the mess of my mind and feel better. Yeah I know right, poor me with a job and a roof. But you know what I mean, it’s tough for all of us in different ways.

So that’s what I’ll be working on this weekend and next week: a vision of what I want the other side to look like. I hope it’s simpler, stronger and more peaceful. Maybe it will be quieter too and that’s okay.

What do you want from ‘The Other Side’?

*I mean, not really. She didn’t write the post or anything. Thanks for inspo, Chelsea, love to your husband.

Categories: Anxiety Lock-Down Diaries Mental Health Unpretty Thoughts

Tagged as:

Christa Bass

1 reply

  1. I somehow missed this when you posted it but I just wanted to say that when you think you’re rambling (I like the term you use for these blogs – free form) that’s when I feel you show more of the real you. So don’t apologise for that. That’s definitely a good thing.

    I’m kind of torn about what I want ‘the other side of this’ to look like because I sort of do feel like where we are now is the new normal. Socially distanced meet ups, wearing a mask in shops etc and no hugs. And while that sucks for me because I do love a hug, I think I’m mostly okay with the other stuff. And if it keeps people safe then I’m happy to do it.

    Like

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