Quarantine for us hasn’t really been that different to our normal life. Obviously there are marked differences – no cinema, no cheeky drinks after work or dinner with the girls/guys – but ultimately, both of us are homebodies who choose to spend most of our time at home anyway. I wonder if all this will change me?

I do worry that I might be going the ‘other way’ in relation to getting out and about. My friends are mostly taking their government regulation one hour jaunts seriously, mapping wonderful routes that take them along the beach walls or through picturesque parks. I feel too anxious to go out and I can’t pinpoint why.

I didn’t think I was worried about getting sick or infecting someone else. But it feels like a massive effort to pull on my trainers and open the front door. Like there’s a wall of dread or something blocking my path. I have to pop to the chemist this morning and my limbs feel heavy and my stomach hurts. It’s across the street for fuck’s sake.

I don’t think all this time is good for me and although I’ve always joked about being a part-time hermit, I do worry I’m not far off the mark. I worry about the repurcussions of all this on all our mental health.

While there is so much beauty and so many positives to take from this – how great communities have been, how close a lot of us have become to our loved ones and how creative we’ve been with technology – there’s another side to it.

I’m not going to dwell on it though and will consciously fight the hermit life with walks round our local park. I need to push against the fear I know that. If nothing else, I need the Vitamin D and the wind in my hair. I also need to step away from the social media and stop comparing my lockdown experience to everybody else’s.

(Seriously, why does everyone look so bloody good/have such nice houses?!)

Tonight I’m doing The Evolution of Horror Live Horror Quiz with some pals and I can’t wait. Please don’t mind this post, everything’s as fine as it can be. I just felt like getting some of these thoughts down in a free writing post (hence it probably isn’t that coherent either).

How are you? (Really)?