It’s been a while and there’s a lot to tell but also, not much has changed.
The pandemic rumbles on despite the fact almost nobody wears their masks in the supermarket anymore. Tattooists are opening up next week, and pubs and restaurants are already open again – which is amazing for these industries – but it’s also bloody scary.
I’m stuck somewhere between never wanting to leave the safety of my sofa again and wanting to dive right back into the mix without a care in the world. But I won’t be doing that fully until I’m comfortable and confident so it may still be a way off.
I still can’t believe we’re living through a global pandemic, man. I’m quite proud actually that we’ve got to this point, it’s been really hard at times – there’s been maximum worry and stress, naturally – and we’re not out of the woods yet – but we’re still here and personally, my mental health is just about holding together. Better than I would have imagined anyway. Small victories and all that.
So much has been said over the last couple of days by much more eloquent voices than mine about the atrocities happening across the US*. I have wanted to say something so many times, going back and forth on what’s appropriate, whether I have anything new to say – whether it’s even my place.
I’ve sat with my thoughts all week, trying to work out how I – as a white woman – can be an ally to my black friends and black people. I will never have an understanding of what it feels like to be discriminated against for my race but I can use the privilege I’ve been afforded to do something.
While my first instinct has been to mostly stay quiet – and share the odd resource on Instagram stories, donate and read as much as I can to educate myself – I realise silent isn’t the thing to be anymore. I’m angry and now’s not the time to be mute. Also, fuck eloquent.
We all, as white people, have so much to learn about the systemic racism we’ve all benefited from – and even if I get it wrong sometimes – I want things to change, they have to change. I’m going to get out there, march, shout – do what I have to do to support black lives.