I’m actually quite stoked for the new year if I’m honest, although what with one thing or another – the world actually imploding as I type this – it seems incredibly foolish to say that out loud. But, fuck it, I’m a gambler and I hope to have some nice news soon.
Frankly, I had lots of plans for posts to wow you with in the first few days of January and it turns out, I couldn’t be bothered. I’ve put my energy into other more tangible things this week and weekend. I’m not sorry.
I’m currently lying nude on fresh sheets, in a room that has been cleaned and reorganised. Yes even under the bed. It feels new and I like it.
I’ll be back to business tomorrow with a new Blog Collab review and I want to talk about a very odd but good book I read. I’m planning on a lot more free flow posts like this one that don’t really lead anywhere but are hopefully cute and funny.
I also did my first spell on Wednesday which was awesome – and I’ve been thinking a lot about Wicca and cultural appropriation. There’s a lot on my mind so I’ve been sitting with it all this weekend. In between the navel gazing and the hoovering under the bed, there’s been plenty of time for films and reading. I’m currently devouring The Illustrated Man. It’s pretty epic.
Anyway, catch you soon when normal service resumes.
Have a good week.
Resolutions in my experience never work. I slap a load on my list around this time every year and practically never look or think about them again.
They often seem so much like punishment: “Lose weight”, “Go on social media less”, “Join gym”, etc. I don’t like that. So for the last few I’ve tried to set achievable goals instead. Have I always hit them by the end of the year? Not always – but it’s felt more positive to frame them as things I want to do so I feel less of a failure when I don’t quite get there.
On the eve of 2020, not just a new year but a brand new decade, I vow here and now not to be so freaking scared of everything.
Maybe IRL I don’t come across as a fearful person but let me assure you I’m anxious and frightened of everything. The future, ageing, never achieving what I set out to achieve (whatever that is).
I’m scared I’m actually stupid and due to be uncovered as a complete fraud any day now. I’m scared of dying alone, of losing my loved ones and sometimes I’m simply scared of trying.
The simple act of putting myself truly out there might even be the scariest thing of all. After all, a crumbling nation is at least something I can share with my fellow countrymen. Being me is a very solitary act!
I’m about to interview for my dream job and I’m a bag of nerves. As usual. And you know what? It won’t do. This is the opportunity I’ve been waiting for – the role was practically handmade for me – why is my default reaction to anything challenging sheer panic?
So this the year I believe in myself. The year I take on things outside my comfort zone because scary can be good too. This time though, I will approach them with understanding and the belief that I’ve got this. There are years of life experience under this belt and I need to trust myself.
As well as living as much as possible without fear, here are a few goals:
- Become the best witch I can be
- Take a burlesque class
- Walk to and from work whenever possible
- Write more
- Draw more